Showers of Grace

So I was struggling with an issue.. one of those things were you wonder if God truly has forgiven you for it. So I was praying over this and wrestling about the truth and what it means to be forgiven when I know that I am when I had a... reminder..

While showering one morning, my husband handed me our one year old to rinse off. We were pressed for time and she really needed some freshening up after playing in the mud with her older brother. Clutching her to me, I watched as she marveled at the water rushing around her. She was fascinated and I loved watching her discover the sights, sounds, and sensations of water caressing her skin. Her wonder struck me. I realized that I needed to appreciate such mundane events as a daily shower. When I moved her under the water briefly to wet her hair, she immediately reached for me while blinking. Coming out from under the rushing water, her arms were stretched upward desperately looking for a way to cling to me. She seemed to be begging for a familiar touch and reassurance. Her face held an odd combination of emotions. She still had an expression of interest and fascination, but it was now also marked with fear and concern. She clearly did not understand what was happening and yet she authentically seemed to trust what I was doing to her.

So there I was hours later, praying to my Father. I knew he had forgiven me but I was still sorry. I was having a hard time believing His promise when suddenly I was my daughter in the moment described above: I was in my Father’s arms and I was being showered in His grace and mercy. It was amazing and wonderful; but totally unfamiliar. I trusted Him and yet I instinctively reached out for Him. No matter how strong I am, I cannot cling to Him enough to sustain and secure myself: only His beautiful and loving embrace can provide for me and protect me. Like my daughter, I am utterly dependent. Again, like my daughter, I am there blinking under the currents of grace and mercy. I am amazed by the promise of my Lord; fascinated by the wonder and beauty of it. I was surrounded by new sensations, new enlightenment, and true meekness. I did not understand what was happening and yet I authentically seemed to trust what God was doing to and for me.

Praise Him! To Him be all the Glory! Thank you Jesus!